Monday, June 2, 2008

Ranting about Potter

The more I hear about the changes made to the basic plot of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, the more I want to skip it. I won't, because it's Harry Potter and I'm nothing if not loyal, but really. Here's a list of who's been cut from the film completely so far:

  1. Bill Weasley. He gets engaged and later mauled by a werewolf. Said mauling leads to a very funny, very emotional and very important scene with Mrs. Weasley.
  2. Fleur Delacour. She's engaged to Bill. She's under Mrs. Weasley's feet a lot and resented by both Mrs. Weasley and Ginny (who calls her Phlegm).
  3. Professor Trelawney. (Who is played by Emma Thompson, and who's quirky performance will be sorely missed).
  4. Percy Weasley. So we'll miss out on another great Weasley family scene, giving more and more credence to the theory that Steve Kloves not only is a total hack, but possibly either doesn't understand the books or hasn't bothered to read any of them before he tries to adapt them.
  5. Moaning Myrtle. Eh. I suppose that one doesn't bother me much.
But then there's these four VERY IMPORTANT characters to the plot of the ENTIRE BOOK that have been left out:

  1. Marvolo Gaunt
  2. Morfin Gaunt
  3. Merope Gaunt
  4. Hepzibah Smith
Have you read Half-Blood Prince? If not, stop reading.

The whole point of the book, essentially, is Dumbledore and Harry searching through the memories of other people to figure out what Voldemort's secret to his power is, and what they find out is that he has made these things called Horcruxes. Every day objects that hold a piece of Voldemort's soul in them. Find and destroy the Horcruxes, destroy Voldemort. Got that?

Ok, well, in learning about Voldemort's past, they find that Marvolo Gaunt is his grandfather, Morfin is his uncle and Merope is his mother. Seems like pretty important characters to include, right?

Hepzibah Smith had a goblet that belonged to Helga Hufflepuff, one of the founders of Hogwarts, and Voldemort steals it. To make it into a Horcrux.

We, as readers of the series, know these things. But people who don't read the books and only watch the movies don't, and will need to in order to understand, oh, the ENTIRE SEVENTH MOVIE.

I just don't get it. Why does Warner Brothers insist on not only hiring a screenwriter who changes the plots, fucks up characterization all over the place, and writes generally clunky dialogue, but to make it so the final installments of the series won't make any fucking sense to anyone?

I'm not looking forward to this movie at all. Which is sad, because I love the book a LOT.

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